He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
