here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
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He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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