How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
