i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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