Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
