ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
