he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
