whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
