def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
