worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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