shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
