a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
