I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
