definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
