so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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