Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
