i wish my penis had a tongue
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
