and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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