I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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