Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he was CRYING into my vagina
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
