I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
