this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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