the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
