So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
