mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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