I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
