My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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