I need help removing her.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
