just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
