I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
