i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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