I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
