from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
