but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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