It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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