Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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