she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Even my vagina gasped.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
