who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
