he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She even gives head with a lisp.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
