He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
