she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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