Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
