I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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