there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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