i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
