Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
BRING THE BAGELS
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
