That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
