It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
