The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize