Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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