That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
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still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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