I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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