I CAN MOONWALK!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
