Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
