I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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