You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
