i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
