Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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