My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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