I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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