got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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