maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
