So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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