I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
