It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
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I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
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I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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