Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
