in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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