I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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